Wednesday, 11 May 2011

The Second Time Around

Whilst thinking about features for this months theme, New Beginnings, I wanted to think about people who, for whatever reason, have a second chance at marriage. So I asked on Twitter for a second time bride to be to get in touch with view of answering some questions.  Thankfully my tweet didn't fall on deaf ears and I got chatting, or rather tweeting, with Brigitte of A Fifty Something Bride and she agreed to answer a few questions.  So I will now hand over to Brigitte so she can share her thoughts on planning a second wedding.

When my husband to be and I initially started talking weddings we were adament that the least fuss the better. Both of us had been there done it and got the tee shirt, so why go through all the palavar of a big do when all we wanted to do was sign on the dotted line and become a Mr and Mrs! Doing the full White Wedding with all the trimmings should be left to the younger first timer generation! We agreed that a quick trip to a registry office with me in a decent frock and him in a nice suit followed by a meal in the cafe at the local water park with a few close friends and family would be celebration enough and then we could get on with our life together as a married couple.

That was the plan, but over the course of the following months I realised that I didn't want a wedding that was so low key that blink and you would miss it. We may have both been married before and had big weddings the first time around, but why should this wedding be any less important than the ones that went before it? Gradually, the goal posts started to move. Guest lists grew,a simple celebratory meal has now evolved into reception drinks,wedding breakfast and an evening do. The decent frock into something more befitting a bride.

There was never any question as to where the ceremony would take place. Neither of us are particularily religious, We have never attended a church service together and felt that it would be therefore inappropriate for us to insist on a church wedding. I was also aware that our local parish church wasn't exactly the most picturesque and shared it's car park with a Morrisons supermarket and wouldn't look good in the photos! Not a good reason to discount a religious ceremony but it confirmed that the religious element was not at all important to us. We are more than happy to have a civil ceremony but did not want one in a registry office. I have often stood outside one and watched as one happy couples comes out, another goes in. I hated the thought of being part of a production line, so we are holding the ceremony at our venue and hope to make it personal to me and my other half by including music and readings that are meaningful to the pair of us.

Goldbrick House, Bristol

Planning weddings the first time around for both me and my husband to be had to involve input from our respective parents as they were contributing a big percentage of the budget. People we had never heard of had to be included on the guest lists. This time around, we are paying for the day so all decisions are ours alone. Our guest list will only include people who are important to both of us and we won't have to try and guess if the old dear sipping sherry in the corner is on my or his side of the family! Because we are paying for everything ourselves,we will be cutting out elements of a wedding that we feel aren't important to us. So, the bridesmaids, wedding cars, videographer, favours, chair covers and professionally made cake will not be making an appearance. I will not be wearing an expensive wedding dress complete with tiara and veil, nor will the groom be wearing anything other than a suit and tie.We would rather focus on giving everyone a good time by offering them great food, good wine and decent music to bop along to!

I am very excited this time around as I can totally personalise our wedding because due to the wonder of the internet I can source anything from the right venue to the perfect photographer and everything inbetween at the touch of a computer key. I can be inspired by the many articles and ideas I see on websites and blogs. I don't need to spend a bomb on wedding magazines, although I have to admit to owning an ever growing pile of them! The internet hadn't been invented 22 years ago and the idea of theming a wedding was pretty much unheard of. The biggest choice I had to make then was choosing a colour theme.

Goldbrick House, Bristol

I wrote that I wasn't going for an expensive wedding dress.That doesn't mean that I wont be looking for a fabulous gown. I'm well aware that I'm not exactly in the first flush of youth, and the thought of looking like mutton dressed as lamb horrifies me. I need a dress that is elegant, stylish and most importantly, hides all of my imperfections, of which there are plenty! My Best Girls (my unofficial bridesmaids) will hold my hand and help me chooseThe Dress, but they know that I'm a nightmare when it comes to clothes shopping so they are going to bully me somewhat even to try anything on!

My other half is happy to have a say in the planning, but only about the big things such as choosing the venue, photographer and guest list but after that he is more than happy to leave the rest to me. And that's just how I like it! He wouldn't have a clue what flowers to choose or how to style the venue. That's my domain. I don't want him stressing nor do I want him becoming overwelmed by wedding talk. What I want him to do is just take a back seat and then turn up on the day.

Arranging a wedding for a second time is proving to be great fun. Why on earth did I ever think that a quickie wedding would suffice? These nuptials are going to be every bit as lovely as any that preceeded it. We may miss out traditional elements such as speeches,cake cutting, first dances etc but this time around it is us, and us alone that will make those decisions.

Thank you Brigitte and I hope you have lots of fun in planning your wedding.  I know I will be following your blog to see how your plans progress and wish you and your husband to be a life filled with happiness.

Be sure to follow Brigitte in her adventure on her blog - A Fifty Something Bride

Goldbrick House, Bristol
Brigitte's wedding venue

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...